I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
