I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
