Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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