Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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