Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
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Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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