is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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