plz talk dirty to me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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