your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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