I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he thought i was a dude.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
