So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
