Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
