No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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