i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
