you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
