IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
