she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why can't burritos get me drunk
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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