There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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