Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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