i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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