He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
