am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it because I queefed?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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