I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
God, I missed his penis.
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