any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
