is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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