And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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