i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
