i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
