He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
