He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
