Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
