Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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