it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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