You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
