she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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