id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize