I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
