they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
