i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
