.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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