I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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