then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
