we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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