just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
