Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
