it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
