We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
