pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
