get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Couch. On fire.
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