I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
