I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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