you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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