I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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