And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
