My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
