We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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