I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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